Wandering Towards Fatherhood

Well here we are in the home stretch.  Two more months and our daughter will become part of our new family.

What gets me is so many people keep telling me that I am not ready and I have no idea of what I am in store for.  How I am going to be over protective and up to my ears in not knowing what to do.  In some ways they may be right.  I mean this is my first child, this will be my first time at actually being a dad.

But what they don't seem to get is that I am already comfortable with my limitations of not knowing what the future holds.  There is no instruction manual and there is no way of seeing the future that I am aware of.  So why sweat it really.  If she comes into the world healthy then I think we are off to a great start.

I would love to say I hope she is born happy as well as healthy, but think about it.  For nine months she has not had to do anything but sleep, be warm and move about a bit.  On that glorious day, she is going to be shoved out of the only place that she ahs ever known, for the first time she will see direct light and a bunch of strange faces and things swirling about her, and then somoen is going to slap her on her ass and then flush out her mouth and sinuses with saline.  I rather think I would be pissed with that myself.

I have five nephews, and two nieces and for three of my nephews I spent seven months having to help raise them, change diapers and help potty train one.  I dealt with them being sick, and my second oldest nephew lived with me for a year when he was born.  In truth I have a leg up over most people walking into this.

I am not overly optomistic, nor do I think I will know exactly what to do all the time, but I can fake it.  I will be wrong at times and I will even be guilty of making a few bad decisions based on what I think is best for my daughter and any other rugrats that I might have in the future.

I am not so much worried as I am anxious to get to meet my little RC and help her through life as best I can.  I even have a plan to help me do this.  It was the same plan I came up with as a twleve year old kid, who was going through what some might have called a mental breakdown back then.

The plan is: The world is seperated into Needs and Wants.  You need air, water, food and shelter to live.  You want things like Toys, diamonds, and gigantic luxury items.

I plan to, as best I can, make sure she has all her needs met before she even knows she needs them.  That part is actually pretty easy to accomplish at times.  In a selfish sort of way, I know if I need them then she does more than likely, you know save pain killers and medicine for what I am certain is going to be a bumpy ride for me trying to keep up with a small child.

Wants on the other hand are actually trickier.  A desire for something that you do not necessarily need will always be there.  But to completely eliminate a want just because she doesn't need it is not fair.  She does not need a lot of toys, but every once and a while spoiling her let her know that I do think of her.  As she grows older, her wants will increase in size and price.  Well if she was born a little adult I could reason with her.  But she will not be, or if she does some out knowing Newtonian Physics then she will still not have a complete grasp on the world at large.  Math is math, it is easy int he fact that it does not have emotions or its own opinion that you have to deal with.

At one point in my life I said I couldn't have kids because I was too selfish, and now I can't wait to meet my daughter.  Oh I plans to raise me a bad ass bitch.  Yeah I want her to take the world by storm, be rational and use logic, use emotion to drive herself and achieve what she wants.  Stand for herself and be strong and stand up for others.  Fight a good fight and even in loss be gracious and in victory be humble.

She does not have to be a nobel peace prize winner to make me proud, hell her doing her best and showing the world what she's got, is good enough for me.  Although I do hope she goes into Engineering because then that would mean I can make jokes with her about differentiation, and pass her notes for passwords using integrals.  But if not, as long as she is happy then that is great.  Although to be honest, if she decides her life calling is being a pole dance, I am probably not going to go visit her at work...EVER.

I hope she is a horror movie buff, because her mom and myself both are, and the family that kills together, can't rat on anyone because fuck it, we are in it together and the gas chamber can hold three in Texas.

I hope that she does not mind if I do to her what my parents did to me, and that was enroll me in Martial Arts and Fencing classes.  Being at peace with the world does not mean that the world is at peace with you.  So prevetative measures some times needs to be take.

I want her to speak the language and write it as well.  This is my want.  We can work around learning disorders and such, but by god do not say OMG or LOL to me.  This might result in soap in the mouth sorta thing.

Watch old Looney Tunes and not this touchy feely, come with a thousand warning labels and drop your IQ by ten points for every ten minutes of watching it kind of stuff.  Being popular and fitting in cartoons and tv shows piss me the fuck off.  Be your own person and not some fucking carbon copy of what a TV exec tells you you should be.

I want her Significant Others to understand one thing: I have weapons permits and I have friends who are forensic pathologist and a friend in the Department of Justice and another who is coming out of special forces.  I will end you, console your parents when you don't come home one night, end them if they ask too many questions and have people who will help me cover it up.  Do not screw over my child.  I hope to teach my little girl that feelings are important and playing games with them is stupid.  End the relationship if  you are than Priority and they are nothing more thna an option.  It hurts no matter what, but at least you do right by them.

You know I could go on and on about the things I want for my daughter and what I would want her to do, be and appreciate.  But blogs are meant to be shorter than this.

So I part on this, my family will be my life and my reason for being,  I will be there as much as I can and I woll do all that I can to make sure that the needs are met, and the wants are kept in check.  I will DESTROY any who seek to hurt my family, and I got the skills, friends, and family to do it with.  I want her to be a good person and only pick those who want to be good to and for her.  Sacrifices come and not all cna be avoided, but keeping a level head and showing the world that you are worth taking notice of goes a long way.

Until that time and that place

p.s.;
For those who might be wondering, I have written up to chater 10, but chapter 4 has quite a few typos, and chapter five is a train wreck in my opinion (Funny how it seemed so much better while I was writing it) so I have not posted the new chapters.  I plan on doing that something before this weekend, so if you want, check out the writing at www.thewritersblock.yuku.com

My Story

For anyone who might be interested or even still reads my blog, I posted four chapters in my section of the Writer's Block .  What I have submitted is the re-written and amended prologue and chapter 1, along with my semi edited versions of Chapter 2 and Chapter 3.

I actually have more written (well re-written as most of you know), but I have not actually done any editing on those chapters yet and I am certian they are pretty rough.

If you do read it, I wouldn't mind a little feedback in the replies section.  ANyways I hope those who read it enjoy it.  Sorry for taking so long with it.  I've either been busy or lazy this summer with doing it.  More on the busy side.

Well until that time and that place,

The writer's block

Just in case anyone from class missed it.  I created a forum page to which any of us can continue to post in a laid back, non-scheduled manner.

here is the link:
www.thewritersblock.yuku.com

All you need to do is:

1. Create a username for www.yuku.com.
2. Then go to the link above
3. post in the introduction section. 
4. Then you will get administrator rights to the board.
5. There will be a forum board created for you.
6. Write. Whatever you feel like
7. Offer feed back
8. Have fun with it.

Fare The Well

My sappy moment in the class,

I say this to you, fare thee well,

see you soon, you might hear me yell,

I never have liked to say good bye,

because good byes are for when we die.

We the warriors of the word may not be immortal,

but we create new worlds and our stories are the portals.

This isn’t the end of a chapter, but a story just begun,

create you new tale, enjoy it and have fun.

So I say until that time and until that place

jump some hurdles and run that race.

We have more stories to create and tell,

so I say this to you, Fare thee well.

brought to you by

A Pimp Named Vader

May da' force be in yo' pimp hand

 

Final Destination.... for now

Well here we are, and to be honest, I am happy for the fact that I reached the end of this semester, not because of my creative writing class.  No, my reason for being happy with the end of this spring semester has more to do with the amount of stress that I am under and no way to really vent at the moment, at least nothing that is constructive.

So as my final blog of this class I have to answer a few questions concerning what I have experienced during my time in this class.  So without further a due.

Will I keep blogging?
I probably will, but the thing is now I don't have a schedule to keep up with so there is going to be something I like to call a break.  My days are going to be a bit lazy until I have to return to my engineering regime.

How was the workshopping process?
I found that it was actually helpful and fun.  To be honest I never thought of working with a group of people on my writing, then again I never really considered being a writer for living before.  The feedback was useful and folks were helpful, and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing what people thought and what they thought was coming next.  It also helped to me understand that some of the things that I took for granted as knowing was not so easily understood by others.

Will you send out a query letter for real?
Yes, but not right now.  I need to finish my re-write and I got some editing to do.

Was it hard to find an agent/publisher for the query letter?
I thought it was going to be but to tell you the truth, the first agent I came across was the one that was the most interesting to me, despite the fact that I searched twelve different agents.  Imagine that, my first choice was the one who fit me the best.

Would I self-publish Create Space?
Yes.  I mean I like the idea of having an agent and what have you and so on and so forth, but if I did not fit into a genre, which is what I figure is really going to happen, then I would most certainly consider self-publishing.

Okay so that is it for now.  I imagine that there are going to be questions in the future, because you know, I am such an awesome author and what have you.  But for now, I am out.

Until that time and place, I will see you wandering the halls of our imaginations.

Wanderlust and the writers block

So almost two weeks ago I posed a question: Would you be interested in keeping up with each others progress on stories or just remain friendly after class was over?  Didn't get much of an answer, but I decided I would create a forum any way.

Here it is: http://thewritersblock.yuku.com/

My User name is Uncle Big Bad, and it is a Yuku board, so it is free, but there are advertisements on it.  I am not sure what they are because I usually have that stuff blocked.  I am more than happy to give administrative rights on the board.  That way you could create you own forum string inside the board , change the layout of it and delete and edit as you choose. 

I liked the idea of having a writing group and I could not think of any I would like better than my classmates who I have gotten to know.

Like I said nothing would need to be mandatory, and I think that it might be something fun to do when time allowed. Now there is no way to attach documents in this thing, once again it is a free site and to have that option would require spending money and that stuff comes in a limited supply.

Just post in the Introduce yourself forum(i.e.: I am Bob from Creative writing 2.  And I will pass out the admin rights.

Until that time and that place,
Later

So the mind was wandering and wondering

So a few weeks back I started wondering, if I wanted to keep reading some of these stories and see how they would turn out, how would I do it when the class was over.  To tell you the truth I am very interested in seeing how everyone's stories turn out.  Even if some people choose not to pursue the goal of getting published.

I like the class and I find my classmates to be enjoyable.  Sure we don't all have the same taste in what we like to read.  I mean I read books on math, engineering and physics (I am pretty dull at times I know).  But the truth is I like doing the peer reviews, and I enjoy reading other styles of writing, and I actually enjoy other peoples input into what I am doing.  I mean I still may not take the advice, but it is nice to know what others might think and see how they react to the things I put to text.

So I put up a poll to see who would be interested in keeping up with each other once the class was over.  And I thought that maybe since posting it in a public forum would not be the wisest of ideas, I thought a private free forum would be a good way to go.  Like a yuku board or something.

I imagine that most everyone would appreciate not having a set schedule of when to post things, as it is not a class, and let's face it, we all got real world shit to deal with.  Time is a valuable commodity and once we use it, we never get it back.  So I would say an informal environment would be in some order and what have you, but that would only be if anyone else was interested in doing it.

Tell me what you think.